Thursday, September 30, 2010


We are all healing and doing well.

Howard went back to work Monday. He is experiencing some headaches and neck aches from whiplash. His shoulders are killing him from the stress of holding on to the steering wheel. His bruises are almost faded. His abrasions are almost completely healed. His toe is still sore, but healing.

Mackenzie went back to school on Monday but only made it until 11:30. She was just in too much pain. She did go every other day this week and is doing great. Her bruises are fading fast. Her abrasions are completely healed. She feels so good, she doesn't even want to wear her brace anymore!

Maddie's still traumatized but she doesn't cry as much, that's for sure. Her bruises are almost completely gone.

Parker is acting more normal by the day. Although, he is cutting 2+ teeth at the moment, so still pretty clingy and cranky. I know he'll be back to normal once we get back to our regular routine. His bruises are completely gone.

My bruising is fading, and I'm not nearly as sore! The huge abrasion on my chest is almost healed, but still very red and prominent. My knee still swells when I am on it a lot and my rib kills when I laugh hard, hold Parker while standing or bend over. I am doing a little too much around here, but it feels so nice to be semi normal. Pain medicine is a rarity for me these days, so that's nice.

The accident report has FINALLY been turned in, but it's still not complete, we've been assured it will be by Monday. We did finally get the kid's (he was 17) information so we could call his insurance company.
We're currently waiting on grant money from school. It's been a long, hellacious wait.

Tomorrow is Howard and mine's 11 year dating anniversary. Do you think he'll remember?

Friday, September 24, 2010

In the words of my sister

Black cloud, fuck off.

The past 2 weeks-
We had 15 inches of rain resulting in Howard not working for 8 days
The front end of the van went out, we spent over $600 in repairs and 4 days later...

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Dear Mother in law,

I get a guilt trip the second my husband is not in the vicinity from you every time you visit. Tonight here was your main points...

-He works too hard
-You need to help him more
-School is taking a lot of out him
-You need to help him more
-You should think about getting a job
-He's so tired
-He's so stressed

Facts to respond to these guilt trips:
Yes, he works very hard. I know this. I appreciate it and tell him every chance I get. I need to help him more? Help him do what exactly? I keep our house and children clean while he's at work. I cook all the meals unless he wants to cook, and he loves to cook so that does happen occasionally. He helps when he gets home. He does dishes from dinner, and does the floors after dinner if need be. On the weekends he does heavy cleaning, yes. He LOVES to clean. It is his way to unwind. Always has been. So yeah, I don't do deep cleaning unless I need to for the most part. I'm chasing 3 kids around the house plus running errands and taking 7 people to and fro with every spare second.
Next point, yes school does take a lot out of him. But guess what? 80% of his school work that is more than 300 words, I do. And ANYTHING requiring long papers or research, I DO! So...yeah!

Oh and the job thing. Lets go there. Reasons it won't be happening, at least within the next six months...
#1 We only have one vehicle for 7 people
#2 We would have to come up with day care facilities for 3 children
#3 99% of the jobs I would find would barely cover the cost of daycare, gasoline and not to mention would put more of the burden on Howard because I'd be BEYOND exhausted when I got home from working all day and had to deal with 3 kids.
#4 My health could not handle it. My thyroid is not working properly therefore, I have NO energy. I am on strict medication for my anxiety attacks that I am still getting used to as you could tell if you looked in my bedroom after this wonderful conversation as I clawed myself into calming down.
#4.5 Oh yeah and social anxiety disorder? Look it up.
#5 You have taken care of my children. You know what they are like when I am not around and then when I come home. Don't you think it would stress out your son to see his children like that?

Not to mention, I have no desire whatsoever to work. None. I would rather be with my children, at home more then do anything in the entire world.

I know my husband is tired. We live in Texas, it's hot as hell outside and he works in it. He works long hours in shitty equipment and I appreciate every single second of it. I know he is stressed too. Our situation is not easy. He has a lot on his shoulders with work, school, family, my health issues, financial woes, my parents, his parents...I know. I do whatever I can to help him de-stress and make things easier on him as much as possible.

I know your son calls you on a daily basis. You say he calls you because he has to talk, because he's stressed and needs someone to talk to. While that may be true, I apologize that you feel that you are taking on my burdens (your words) by having to do that. However, I do not have time to be on the phone as you do, for I have children I am taking care of. I apologize if you feel that I am not being enough for your son and truth be told I'm probably not. Right now all I am trying to do is pull myself and my family out of this dark hole that we are in.

Your son loves you, Our children love you and I love you. But you need to understand that even though you know the events, you don't always know all the information about our situation.

And next time you want to criticize my wifely duties so to speak, take a look in the mirror.


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Damn doctors

Geez, I'm fine.

Why when you hear the word tumor you just flip?

Yes, I have a tumor on my thyroid. No, it is no cancerous. And no they are not going to do anything about it. My doctor is frankly shocked, because it's rather large. You can see it if you look hard enough, and if I lean my head back, wowsers!

My doctor is going to keep watching it and the surgeon wants to see me again in a year.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Buddy Holly says it all

Everyday it's a-gettin' closer Goin' faster than a roller coaster

As Parker's one year birthday rapidly approaches I can't help but reflect on the past year and the things we, as a family have been through. There's been parties, birth's, cancer scares, surgeries, dying cars, birthdays, graduations, more scares, medicines, tons of doctors, hospitals (me), anxiety attacks, depression.
And now, it's September again. The first to be exact.
My doctor told me I had a tumor on my thyroid this morning. I meet with a surgeon on Friday to get a bigger picture of what the tumor is and means. It's amazing how something can grow in your body and you don't even know it until you're told and now you feel it, hell I see it!

Gives you a new perspective.

I don't like roller coasters.

I'd like to get off now, if you please.