Friday, June 12, 2009

sick of me

Do you ever find yourself in a position that you are just sick of yourself?

I'm there!

I am so utterly paranoid I make myself nauseas.

Ok, so, I have said on more then one occasion that I jinx myself so I have kept myself quiet about this for 5 days. Which may not seem like a big deal, but yeah I need to get on with it, annoying myself again.

Monday morning I woke up and I was laying on my stomach. I mean full on, flat on my stomach and I was so comfortable (my normal sleeping position). Naturally, I panicked. I'm not a small person and I am always afraid that I could hurt the baby if I was laying on my stomach which is a no no when you're pregnant anyway. So immediately I rolled over.
Since then I swear movement of the baby has slowed immensely. I do feel an occasional nudge but not like I felt for weeks before hand.

I'm afraid I hurt the baby.

Could the baby of turned so I am not feeling as much movement? Sure
Am I just not feeling the banana size baby? Very possible
Is there any other symptoms of baby in distress? Not that I can tell...still blooming, I can still feel occasional movement, still have pregnancy symptoms.
Am I being paranoid? More then likely
Does it stop me from being worried about this? NOT IN THE LEAST

I know that my experience with the twins has caused me to be a little...ok...a lot more protective and paranoid about the health of my unborn child especially considering how the entire first trimester went.

I'm determined not to utterly freak out about this until I see the baby on the ultrasound next Friday. Yes, I have to wait one more week but unless I find any other symptoms I think that I would look like a psycho paranoid pregnant woman (hello pot, meet kettle) if I took this further with my doctor or at the ER. So I will just have to deal with my paranoia and pray that I am wrong.

Ok, now somebody laugh at me and tell me to chill out, maybe I'll listen!


Kimm said...

You were able to comfortably sleep on your stomach because you wouldn't hurt the baby. :) I slept on my stomach until it was humanly impossible. I know the paranoid feeling and it is the worst. I can't wait to hear what little bean is.

Loraaf said...

I did the same thing, sleeping on my belly that is!And I bet your bean is kicking your Placenta causing you to not feel the movements so much!!! And you have every right to feel the way you do! But, your bean is fine! And I too CAN'T WAIT to find out what color clothes to send you!!!!!!

Love ya!!

kristin said...

Thanks Kimm, and you're probably right. I can't wait either. Ugh, one more week! lol
Thank you my sweet Lora, as I said to Kimm, you are probably right. And of course, I love you too!!! Soooo much!

You both know more then anyone why I am having a hard time trusting my intuition and having the faith that everything is ok.

H said...

I too used to sleep on my stomach and then when I couldnt any longer, I laid partially on my stomach and partially on my side until that became immpossible. I had a healthy girl and at 17 years old she seems to know everything so it couldnt have hurt her - right?

kristin said...

lol Renee. You are probably all right and when I asked a nurse about my concerns she says they are not normally concerned about a lack of movement from the baby until 22 weeks so I just need to chill lol