Wordless Wednesday

Frustrations/smiles

I am frustrated by someone elses actions. That's the worst, isn't it? Because I can't control it (oh wow, freak much?) and don't really know what to do about it.
I know someone that I am about 98% certain is faking a pregnancy and it is pissing me off HIGHLY. It doesn't surprise me because this person seems to love attention but I just don't like lies. Especially lies THAT big. I mean, faking a pregnancy, COME ON?! Arg, I could bring it to peoples attentions but I really don't like causing drama, I hate drama, I just don't want to stew on this anymore, lol.

My other frustration lately is my financing for school. Due to an administrative error my student loans and grants are hung up in limbo. I have to wait for the chain of fools *ah hem* to get their ducks in a row. It's majorly late already, who knows how long they will take get it worked out.

Ok, onto other things.
This weekend was a great weekend for Kenzie girl. She got her issues together and was awesome! Because of that she got to spend the night at my moms (her favorite thing IN THE WORLD) and she got half of her toys back! I am so proud of her and really hope that it continues!
7 1/2 more days of school (and the poor kid still has homework, lol)

Beautification

Well I am about done with my beautification project. I still need to make a few more pretties however. I am really happy with the end result. Perfect for summer. :)
Peanut is doing uterine robics today. I mean he is everywhere lol. It feels so cool, it amazes me something as small as a turnip can make such an impact on the different parts of my abdomen AT THE SAME TIME.
I have developed this lovely cough. See, I was hoping I was done with the infection, nah...I think it moved to my lungs. Nice, huh?
Tfft, Kenzie decided to dig herself deeper last night. The child CUT HER HAIR! Eh all kids do that, right? She's 8! And she cut off about an inch chunk off of the VERY FRONT of her hair. It's now about an inch long protruding from THE FRONT of her head. I call her 'spike' now. That kid I swear. Her elevator is not going all the way to the top these days.

NEW and improving

These past few weeks have been completely nuts. I have to break it down into categories to describe it...that's even scarier.
Peanut- 17 weeks today (measuring at over 20 weeks--BIG BABY) Had an OB appointment yesterday. Still no weight gain. Baby's heart beat was 126 (the lowest ANY of my kids have ever had- so I was a bit concerned. Doc said it's perfectly normal and healthy oh and he was asleep). I have been feeling him move now for a few weeks, getting stronger by the day. I had a bit more bleeding about a week and a half ago, so random. My family is on me constantly because of the stress I'm under (I'll get to that later) and not taking it easy enough, but I'm trying! Gender Ultrasound is 6/19. My doc is a little concerned with some minor swelling (had toxemia with Kenzie). Also, he wants to check me for gestational diabetes early to make sure we take proper precautions early on, so that'll be done on the 19th as well. NONE of my clothes fit, still don't have maternity clothes but I'm making it, barely lol. Abnormal cravings for OJ, usually I can't drink it (upsets my stomach) but I can't get enough of it right now.
Kenzie- She's been promoted to the 3rd grade. 2 weeks left of school. She is letting her hair grow out, which makes her look so scruffy. I keep telling her we have to get it trimmed and thinned out to keep it growing. I intend on doing that soon. I really think I need to get her tested for ADD. The older she gets, the more signs I see. Has had some major grounding issues and had a lot of privlages taken away, which I want to cave and give it all back. However, the punishment is working for the problems we're having so we're going to keep at it. Every 5 days if we go through without incident then she gets a privlage back. Work in progress, lol.
Maddie- Atttiude. wow. She is just everywhere. Her meltdowns are epic, we have been using time out more and more lately. BUT IT WORKS! She got sick last week and ended up with a double ear infection and a viral infection. All seems well now. She weighed 31 pounds at the doctor. She is so damn skinny but tall-too tall! We have been working on shapes, colors (she sometimes gets them messed up) and counting. She knows 7 shapes, all colors and can count to 14. We're headed for the ABC's and the potty next. Wish me luck on that.
Howard- been working his butt off. Job still sucks, but at least he has one. He has applied for a bunch of different opportunities that are really great and would fit him well (and would be a nice fitting for our bank account). He is still optimistic about hearing from them, but in this day and age, it's so hard to get a job because everyone, their brother and second cousin twice removed is looking too. He's getting sick right now, because of me. Hopefully it'll blow over soon.

Speaking of being sick, this weekend I started with allergies then ended up with an upper respiratory infection. Still nursing that, ick. Can't take much (nor do I like to for that matter) so treatment has gone s-l-o-w.

I seriously just blanked out for five minutes. Anyhoo- School has been my main stresser lately. My last two classes kicked my butt. They were hard, I was worried about the baby and my health during the hardest times of the class and it really showed in my grade. I definitely lost my 4.0 these two classes, but I'm still passing so I'm grateful for that. I have been accused of...well basically cheating by one of those professors even though the class is over. He says that another student used the same reference material as I did on a project (which I have never spoken to any of my classmates outside the classroom) so I am facing a hearing from the academic ethics committee. Yeah, looking forward to that. So that just adds to the stress pile. I love my two new classes, although one teacher and I have already had a little rift, I still love the classes. Well...strike that. Love one class, love the other classes instructor. I hate communictions classes, thank God this is my last one! So I am hoping that this ethics committee thing goes down in my favor and they don't decide to kick me out of school or something. I was also asked by a member of the committee if I wanted to be counted as a disabled student because of my high risk pregnancy. I don't know what that all entails so I haven't said yes or no. Once I speak to Renee, I will decide on that. If the committee thinks it's necessary then I'll do it for sure and I don't think they would of recommended it otherwise. Also, it may just be the responsible thing to do.

Woah, did anyone just feel that? I think the growl from my stomach just caused a minor earth quake.

Alright, now that I have typed my nails off let me close with this, as you can see I am attemping to beautify my blog. I am very excited about this, and have been wanting to FOREVER. So, stay tuned.

busy busy busy

I am no longer bleeding. So, I am off of bed rest, officially for the past week. I'm supposed to take it easy (which I have, to an extent) but at least I am not confined to the bed. I went to the grocery store for the first time in almost a month and by the time we were done I felt like my feet were going to fall off, lol.
I would like to say I am feeling so much better but the truth is that isn't the case. Truth be told I am HAPPIER...but not necessarily 'better'. I am still having morning sickness although it is not every day, like it usually was the past few weeks so that's promising. I am starting to actually look pregnant, and I'm not sure how I feel about that, lol. I mean I think pregnant women are beautiful but I haven't bought any maternity clothes yet so I'm kinda in between sizes phase and I have very little to wear. Fun times.
Speaking of nothing to wear...this weekend my BFF's having her baby shower for her 2nd son. I cannot wait to go! I haven't bought her gift yet, I wanted to get her something substantial off of her registry list and wanted to wait a bit and see the other things that have been purchased. Also this weekend (Sunday to be exact) our dear friend (and counselor extrodinare) Renee is getting married. We are really looking forward to her wedding and are so glad she invited us (Thanks Renee!!).
Last Sunday I got to finally go back to church. I must of cried 4 times in those 2 hours. I really missed church. It was an enriching service and I felt so at peace when I left.
Hmm, I just randomly found another sticker on my laptop that I had never taken off. Odd. Anyway...You can see where my attention span is these days. I have none. :)

Foto Friday

Profile picture

Front view. The two globes on the top are his brain. His arm is under his head and the 5 little dots above his tummy are toes.


Here is a view from the top of the head with a view of both hands.

Spot, Flood, Rest, Repeat

I'm going to update finally because I miss my outlet and its been long enough. Since a few days after my last post I've been bleeding. I had an ultrasound on the 31st that showed an enthusiastic little chicken nugget dancing around my uterus. And the heart beat looked good-No signs of problems. On April 2nd I was still spotting and saw my doctor. They did a high def ultrasound and saw that I had 2 other eggs that had been released but were disintegrating (yeah, I could of had triplets, I almost fainted). My right ovary dropped all 3 eggs and it was slightly swollen but still within normal range. Peanut was still dancing, heart rate at 167. Estimated due date: November 1st. Doctor examined me and said he was not too concerned about the spotting, just the extra eggs disposing of themselves or implantation bleeding. Ok.
No spotting over the weekend. Went to Academy on Monday, the 6th to get miss Mack and Howard new shoes. I felt restless, anxious, couldn't stop moving! Once we got back to the car, I kind of relaxed and we drove a few blocks to go look at new cell phones. I go to get out of the car and I feel wetness.
*tmi from this point on*

I'm bleeding profusely through my jeans. Its everywhere. I panic, tell Howard and quickly loads the kids in the car. I immediately call my parents, tell them what's going on and we are bringing the kids to them right now. We drop off the kids, my Mom calls my doc who says to go to the nearest hospital and I lose it. I was crying before the kids left but now I'm a basket case! I was convinced of a miscarriage. My basket caseness scared my husband to death. He kept asking me if I was in pain, which I wasn't-at all!
We get to the hospital and I get checked in. My blood pressure is sky high- 182/110. I'm scared. After talking to one of the sweetest nurses possible, I calmed down a little. Then I see the blood when I take my clothes off and really get freaked out. Finally I see a doc and he does an exam on me. There's a lot of blood but he sees no active bleeding. He asked the nurse for clamps and she hands him forceps and my husbands eyes got bigger then dinner plates! He used it to pull out a large blood clot that they said had no tissue in it, so that's good. My cervix didn't seem open, so that's good too. But we need lots of blood work and a major ultrasound.
Got blood work done, waited an hour and a half finally the ultrasound tech came in. Within seconds of the ultrasound starting, Howard relaxed and cried. I couldn't see the screen but finally they told me that the baby is moving, heart is beating and he looks fine. I cried, prayed and cried some more. After almost a 2 hour ultrasound that left me feeling sore, bruised but so relieved they told me they don't know what happened. They don't know why I'm bleeding, but the baby and I seem to be fine. Will we stay fine? They have no idea. But right then they statused me with 'attempted miscarriage' and put me on 100% bedrest. Oh and my blood pressure was back to normal when I left there.
Tuesday April 7th- had another high def ultrasound at my doctors office. Still bleeding profusely and am passing clots on a regular basis. Other eggs are gone, baby still great, sees no problems. Very confused tech. She's shocked at the amount I'm bleeding but can't tell where its coming from. Finally, I see my doc. I explain everything again and he tells me he believes I'm experiencing something called a 'Venus pool'. A Venus pool is when the placenta attaches itself to the uterus and because it kind of digs into the uterus sometimes there can be some scar tissue, uterine lining or blood between the uterus and placenta and to get rid of it the body flushes it out so it won't hurt the baby or placenta. Ok. It shouldn't cause any pain, and it will go away. Until then, I'm on 100% bedrest until the bleeding has been gone for 24 hours.
It's been 2 weeks and 2 days. Most days its like a light period but I also have excessive bleeding period days with clotting. Not fun. I went 15 hours with no blood about 8 days ago. I cried like a baby when it came back.
There are days when I feel like I'm fighting the inevitable, that my body is trying to get rid of the baby and I can't stop it. And some days I feel so pregnant I can't believe I'm only 12 weeks.

I've missed so much- church, Easter activities, Kenzie's birthday party, school events, Howard's birthday, shopping- and yeah I know that sounds weird but I can't go anywhere!!
My school work is slacking with late assignments and very unsympathetic instructors. Some of my friends think I abandoned them.
I'm depressed. Wasn't this pregnancy supposed to be easy?

So, there's my commentary from my pillow. Next appointment with my doc is Friday the 24th. I hope I don't attack him with my crazy hormones and depressedness.